i feel as though i should blog

i've had an eventful night. words, commas, thoughts, a picture. but i've got none of those. or not enough of them. there was a first love, a second, a third. all of them different, all of them perfect. all of them wrong. i am left listening to the same songs i always did, alone in a room with four walls, two windows, two candles and tears. i'm not a bad girl, i promise. my mother had the best of intentions. i had the best of intentions. the keyboard simply doesn't have enough keys for me to reach an understanding with anything. no matter how much i tap at them, they aren't enough, don't provide enough. somebody stop the cat from crying. I CAN'T DO BETTER. can't write better, be thinner, more committed, more loving. i am as i am. i am as i am.