Deep Thoughts About The Internet Space-Time Continuum 3:09 p.m.

So it's actually June 9th, 2009 at 3:09 p.m. I'm writing a fake blog post and hacking the date so that there is not a whole year missing in my blog archives. It's an aesthetic thing, might have something to do with my mild (self-diagnosed) OCD. Does that make me a bad person? *wrings hands compulsively* There is no such thing as time on an Internet where time-stamps can be hacked. You heard it here first.

I was going to stop there, but I'm beginning to get excited about the prospect of going back in time (or the Post Options menu, as the case may be) and writing 2008. Maybe I will.

the country game 5:25 p.m.

it doesn't necessarily have to be about countries -- it could be capital cities, or animal names or, well, a lot of things. if you're ultracool you could use indie band names. point is, whatever you choose to use, it's a handy distraction when waiting in line somewhere with friends. each person has to offer a word that begins with the last letter of the previous word. as in:

A: canada
B: argentina
C: armenia
D: does every damn country name end in A?
A: no, dumbass
D: um...hint anyone?
A: think sand. the war against terror.
D: iraq?
C: it has to start with A, moron
D: oh, right. um...
A: afghanistan. let's get on with it. nigeria
B: not fair. is this line getting any shorter?

seriously, it's fun. especially if you prepare ahead of time.

the world's biggest spreadsheet 4:14 p.m.

for those of you (like me) who spend hour upon hour agonizing over excel, i thought you might enjoy this, even though it's a tad ancient:

http://www.informationweek.com/story/IWK20021217S0006

googler interrupted 8:55 a.m.

i've been having a serious amount of trouble with google's beta apps recently: gtalk is blinking, gmail is blinking, blogger is practically blind...the desktop app, though cool, has been unreliable and a monster drain on my poor comp's day to day. then, as though the frustration of trial software weren't enough, someone close to me introduced the possibility that google isn't the innocent novelty i would have it be. stuff about caches, metabots, world domination. as it turns out they're keeping everything on a server somewhere, so that when i search google, i'm really searching google's stash of info, not the web. i must've been living under a rock because everyone seems to know this but me. sitting on my father's 1973 corduroy ikea sofa (which miraculously still holds its shape) i experiment with the idea that google is god. it knows everything about my life, is everpresent, omnipowerful, mysterious. it will most definitely outlive me. maybe i should start praying to google. maybe i should ask it for a job.

alternate telecommunications acronyms 3:13 p.m.

CRTC

Can't Relax 'Till Cumming
Call Roy To Cancel
Cats Rest Too Calmly
Clearly Romans Terrified Children
Clinton (Rarely) Talked Crap

iLEC

i Left Eerily Careful
interesting Lectures Extend Conversation
international Law Excited Churchill
interest Likes Expended Cash

SSRI

Sad Sarah Requires Intravenous
Sorry Still Remains Inadequate
Sunshine Sometimes Runs the Intrigue